Heartache For Love
by thexlittlexlisa
Summary: Yoshika Futaba wasn't alone. She hadn't felt the loss of a beloved person, let alone experienced one. Yes, Futaba had nothing to be worried about. But the fact that she was heartbroken because her first love chose his supportive friend over her, was undeniable and heart-wrenching. Well, she probably should have seen it coming. Too bad she just didn't.
1. Prologue

_"The past is like a handful of dust. I__t filters through your fingers,_  
_disappearing... little by little. __I wish, for one day, I could go back._  
_In another life I would do things differently._"  
_****__—_ **Katy Perry**

**_Song; Ai No Uta (Fukui Mai)_**

* * *

He broke her heart on a rainy night under the city lights.

They were both soaked to the bone, but neither of them seemed to notice that.

He stood there, holding_ her_ in his arms, glancing towards the pinkette across the street.

Clearly showing her he liked her, _just not like that_.

She was cold and wet and it felt like she was drowning in the water falling around her, on top of her, everywhere.

The unwired, static emotions were coursing through her veins, just beneath her skin, and she felt like she's falling as she nodded at his unfamiliar, distant gestures numbly, without actually noticing them.

And when all was seen and done, she felt a hand on her wrist; turning her around, back rigid, body aching all over, and her head looked up towards the darkened sky, as the droplets spiralling down mixed with her own salty ones.

She probably should have seen it coming. Too bad she just didn't.

* * *

The pinkette knew right after that; he started going out with his supportive friend.

She knew that she shouldn't interpret to much into it, but whenever these two were together, she felt as if he was looking at _her_, gazing straight into each other's eyes with that _look_, a snapshot taken from a romantic movie.

There had been something between them, something neither of them could deny, but_ it wasn't something real,_ she thought, whenever she saw every heart aching, stolen glance _they_ gave one another every time the gang got together.

And he probably never technically cheated.

Either way the truth of it all hurt.

She wasn't stupid. Maybe she was just in a little denial though.

* * *

Yoshioka Futaba wasn't alone.

Her parents didn't divorce and moved her from house to house every weekend, let alone had she felt the loss of a loved person.

Her friendships hadn't deteriorated to the occasional 'hello' and 'your hair looks nice', like it did back then.

She had nothing of _that, _nothing that came near what _they _suffered.

Still, she was stuck in a world where everything was retrograde.

_I was heartbroken._

The girl she thought was a supportably friend, wasn't.

Well, for her.

_She was dating the guy I loved._

_And I hated her for it._

* * *

**A/N: **My first story to Ao Haru Ride that isn't a Oneshot. If you haven't read Chapter 22, than you shouldn't read this, because it takes place right after that. I made it a bit different than in the manga (for example the rain in the beginning) but I really wanted to make a FutabaxKou centered story for a long time, but there aren't many people reviewing to Ao Haru Ride and I hope that changes. For better effect, listen to the music that is given at the beginning. This will contain many pairings and I really hope you like it!

**Please review lovelies ~***


	2. Time After Time

_"There are always sides. There is always a winner and a loser.  
For every person who gets, there's someone who must give."  
****__—_ **Jodi Picoult**

_**Songs; Safe (Britt Nicole) and Ocean Wide (The Afters)**_

* * *

When she was little, her mother would always tell her all these different life lessons. She'd be sitting on one of the counter table stools, playing with her fake microphones, and re-enacting fairy-tale love scenes from her imagination with her Barbie dolls (yes, because she's been a terrible romantic and dreamer since she could talk) as her mother would be stirring something on the stove.

Her mother would be cooking her famous Japanese spicy dinners or lunches, and she would turn around, patting her hands lightly on the rough material covering her clothes, and smiling at her faintly. Her eyes would laugh, twinkle at the sight of Futaba dramatizing the lives of inanimate objects and the childish voice of a little girl who probably watched way too many Disney princess movies for her own good.

"Futaba, when you find _that _boy, don't let him go, okay?"

And then she'd affectionately tuck a strand of her brown hair behind her ears, and Futaba would nod her head earnestly, too young to understand the real meaning behind her words. She would accept the words graciously nonetheless, smiling up at them, and continuing to hum her tunes.

**. . .**

She woke up to the brink of dawn, the light of day started seeping in through the flimsy fabric of the closed curtains and her body felt too old and tired in her own skin lately.

Everything she heard was the rustle of sheets but she still couldn't find the heart to move or get up. It was too early for all this she thought to herself, remaining motionless.

_"Did you and Narumi kiss?"_

_"… Yes."_

Tears climbing up her eyes, trying to wetting her face when she remembered last nights events and suddenly she was sick and tired of it, sick and tired to just lay there and let the heartbreaking moments replaying in her head. She sat up slowly and remained in her place, observing her surroundings intently as she turned to the floor and let her feet make contact with it, standing up and walking to the mirror on the back of her closed door soundlessly.

She sat in front of it, staring at her reflection, the lack of colour on her face, the sober quality of her mouth and limpness of her auburn hair. The girl looking back at her wasn't who she expected herself to be a few years back. But then again, a lot had happened she never expected. The thought should have made her sad but she didn't care enough to let the feeling arise.

The auburn haired girl sighed, feeling exhausted and old and she wished she just could go back and be that happy, oblivious, hopeful in love girl, but the past couldn't unravel for her, especially after everything that had been said and done.

She looked at the clock. Two hours.

Two hours and she had to endure seeing _them together. _The whole day. And that while cleaning the school from the festival leftovers.

After showering, she looked at herself in the dresser mirror, at the way the uniform hanged loosely on her body, not resting along the curves just right at the moment, and she wanted to hate the way it made her look now but she couldn't. Everything felt a little too unimportant and unfathomable to bother with. She couldn't help getting used to the feeling.

At this moment she saw that little piece of paper falling out of her pocket, wrinkled and crumpled because she too often folded it together and opened it again and when her hand reached the ground, touching this little piece of happiness she got, a small sad smile graced her features, remembering one of the moments that happened_ afterwards_.

**. . .  
**

Futaba sat against the wall, her long legs splayed out onto the floor of the hallway. Touma slid down warily next to her, careful to not be the first to speak.

"He really does like her then." She finally said and he joined her in looking at the opposite wall.

"You can go back. If you really do care for him then you, no, _we_ can go back and you can talk to him. And Yoshioka," he stopped himself, breathing in deeply and trying to ignore the slight pang of his heart, "I've been thinking, maybe it's time for you to move on anyway. You can't run after him forever—"

She turned towards him, her eyes sparkling but not in the way they used to, "Is it _that_ obvious that I like him?"

He gave her a pointed look, "Are you worried about him finding out?"

Futaba shook her head, a sigh escaping her lips, "I'm pretty sure Kou knows how I feel."

"He gave you false signals about his feelings towards you? I sorry, but _he's a jerk_. You should really move on from someone like that,"

"How should I do that?" She challenged in that characteristic fashion of hers, not letting her eyes leaving his and he loosed his tie a bit.

"Look Yoshioka," he started slowly, his gaze steady and intent, "there are some things that are hard to forget and at the moment it might seem impossible to move on, but for now, I'd like you to come to me—" recalling what he just said, a deep blush appeared on his face and Futaba blinked a few times, not getting why he just stopped midsentence, "… or your _friends _whenever you think about him, it'll help you distracting yourself. At first it seems to make no difference at all, and then one day you look down and see how much pain has erod—"

"I want to get away." she cut in and he looked at her strangely.

"Yoshioka, I don't think now is the time to—"

"Kikuchi-kun," she repeated, something about her tone catching his attention and prickling at his chest, "_I want to get away_."

There was a pause and then he succumbed, "Okay."

**. . .**

And he did take her away.

Even though it was _that _late of an hour, he took her away. Showed her places she went to before but didn't take notice of their beauty because she was just too much infuriated with the things going on in her head.

Huffing, she put the note back into her pocket, a slight blush on her pale face.

* * *

She saw them walking closely on the school ground, their expressions unreadable. Futaba thought she had it well in hand.

She didn't.

**. . .**

She used the back of her hand wiping away the tears from her cheeks, "Thanks for being here, Kikuchi-kun. That was really nice of you."

"Uh, no problem." He smiled, wondering if it would seem like a totally 'jerk' action making a move on her right about…_now_.

Futaba didn't notice his mental dilemma, continuing with her ramblings, "I mean I know we're not really close and I'm always using you for solving my problems—"

"Don't worry about such things." He laid a reassuring hand on top of hers, squeezing lightly, smiling sweetly.

She searched something in her pocket, he wondered what it was and blinked a few times, realizing it was that note he gave her yesterday night, "Looking at this really lightens my mood."

There's a pause and then, "I'm truly grateful."

_"If you tell yourself you feel fine, you will."_

He blushed._  
_

* * *

The water seeped down from the umbrella into her hair, and down to the side of her face. She sat there motionlessly, watching the rain pouring down onto the wet, moist grass.

"There you are." Her voice sounded out of breath. "What are you doing here? Everyone's waiting for you back in the classroom." She said the last part quietly.

Futaba didn't respond; just continued to stay entranced with the Hokkaido rain. She felt Yuuri sit down next to her, bringing her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

After a few minutes of staring out at the rain with her, Yuuri turned her attention back to Futaba. "What's wrong?" She asked gently, Futaba turned to her, and Yuuri's eyes softened instantly. "Yesterday you suddenly vanished and now you're sitting here in the pouring rain ignoring us all while Kominato-kun just constantly shakes his head when we question him. We're worried."

"Everything's changing too fast. Everyone's moving on." Futaba whispered.

She gazes at the auburn haired girl, with some sort of emotion she had never seen directing towards Futaba.

"Kou has chosen Narumi. Not me. Why is it that I don't feel happy about it? Does that make me a bad person?" She continued, looking down shamefully. Futaba heard her exhaling a breath, before she put a finger underneath Futabas' chin, bringing her face back up to hers.

"Call him, Futaba. Talk to him. Fix this, whatever that's supposed to mean for the two of you." Her eyes were sad but brave.

She nodded her head, because she knew Yuuri was speaking the truth. The petite girl wouldn't speak anything less. Futaba wondered when she became the most mature one out of the three of them.

Yuuri pushed a damp curl away from her friends' face, before putting an arm around her, pulling Futaba closer.

"I consider you as one of my best friends and I'm the happiest, knowing I have such good friends to rely on. Thanks. For Everything." Futaba stopped short. "I just wanted you to know that." She ended awkwardly.

Yuuri smiled at her knowingly. "I do."

The two of them stayed under the bleachers for a few more minutes, before Yuuri got up, giving her a hand to get up too.

They were walking back to their classroom, side by side, and she knew that eventually, just eventually, she would move on.

* * *

She saw them again. That girl ___—_she couldn't even bring herself to hate her at all___—_, was helping him cleaning the windows, wiping of the reminders of the festival that they all shared together, somehow.

Futaba _didn't_ want to cry again. She _didn't_ want to run away whenever she saw them together. But it was just too painful, unbearable for her to stand next to them, especially not with a sappy, happy smile.

Somewhere in the back of her, she distantly heard the sound of someone calling her name repeatedly, but she decided to continue ignoring it.

And when she felt a cool hand on her shoulder, she almost jumped. Almost.

She turned around meeting flashing eyes, "We're here for you."

_Kikuchi-kun._

Her friends, glancing towards Futaba, giving her reassuring smiles here and there.

_Yuuri-chan. Shuu-chan. Kominato-kun._

For a second, they saw something flashing across her face, something akin to a smile.

And then, just for one moment, she doubted that what her mother said, was right.

* * *

**A/N:** Here is the official first Chapter and I know it's totally out of character and too depressing for being hurt because of love, but I just loved writing it and even though the characters aren't fitting, I like them like that.  
I hope you enjoyed this too and a review would be really nice, because it gives me a reason to continue.  
It can be anything. I want real criticism! And just so you understand everything. If I write "**. . .**" than there's a flashback or a mental leap and when I write "_" than that means there's a new line of action.  
Got lazy with the end. Sorry. There are many grammar and spelling fails. Sorry. Again.

**Edit:** There were a few people who asked "Why is Narumi in the school?" and since I don't want to answer that hundred times, I'll do it here. She's there because she'll soon transfer to their school and wants to look how the school is like, just randomly walking around (well and because Kou is there too). In my country it's normal that the people, before they transfer to the school, can look around first, get an impression on it and decide if it's the right school. I hope that's clear now.

**Review lovelies ~***


End file.
